The smell of greasepaint

Amongst the many peculiar items that you could find in TG, through my teenage years, the most peculiar were the one offs. Those items that they’d quite clearly bought at some kind of stock clearance event. 

As most 16 year olds do I spent a great deal of my time imagining I wasn’t me. My choice of fantasy worlds was that of movies and television. When I wasn’t busy walking up and down the landing pretending to present the opening piece of my imaginary news/science/magazine show; I was imagining I was Lucille Ball.

It was a gleeful day when I discovered TG’s most recent acquisition: Leichner Camera Clear foundation. This was my gateway to the movies in my mind.

Picture from FragranceDirect

It smelled glorious. A beautiful thick gooey “blend of beige” it smelled as though someone had genuinely made effort in making this. It was very different to my utilitarian but colourful lipsticks. It was the best 1.99 I’d ever spent.

It was, to me, an indicator that my pile of hand-scrawled pieces of dialogue could be made alive. I set about coercing a number of school peers into acting in my pieces, I borrowed a video camera from my uncle, and having read copious behind the scenes books, kidnapped a number of lamps.

My friends declined use of the Leichner so it only graced my face. My information about make-up and movies was strangely lacking in thick foundation tips. Thus I stood/sat in front of my camera and array of lights melting. Sweating and melting. I was proud of my scripts, but my inability to not look like some kind of Doctor Who monster was a very low point. 

It was exactly the thing that put me completely off foundation for several years. The greasepaint smelled good, but it surely did not look good.

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