Fistful of makeovers

Going to buy makeup in real life can be fraught with anxiety. There’s the getting to the till and discovering what something actually costs anxiety, there’s the is that actually yellow or is it just the lights anxiety, and then there’s the “let me try that on you” anxiety. I understand, it makes sense to actually put it on someone’s skin. It makes shade matching a much easier process, and gets the customer invested in the product. Counter makeovers have been some of the most awkward moments in my life.

The Good

By far and away the only genuinely pleasant makeover experience so far has been with SpaceNK. The assistant shade matched me and let me go to natural light to check the foundation. He also caused me to have an overwhelming desire to buy an Hourglass Ambient Light powder after he somehow used it to make me feel like a goddess.

The Not So Bad

Bobbi Brown counter wins this particular award. They are after all the Queens and Kings of inoffensive neutral makeup. It would have taken quite some effort to mess up a lot of beige. However, both times, at completely different stores, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on why, but I did get quite a sense of pressure. And the world’s tiniest Gift with Purchase.

And the downright ugly

There is an undisputed winner in this category. The makeover so awful that I washed it off within ten minutes, the sales so pressurised that I ended up with an insane amount of product, and an experience that made me feel like I needed a decontamination shower. Ladies and gentlemen I give you…Benefit.

Never have I been so like an Orangutan in my orangeness. Never before have my cheeks so much resembled those of Aunt Sally. And at no time in my life previously or since have I used so much stealth in trying to get to a public bathroom unseen.

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